This article is written by Tyler E. Johnson
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Cutting my hair was somewhat of an impulsive change I made one day when I was secretly having a melt down. An action that was birthed from a moment of despair has blossomed into something so liberating. I feel empowered, confident, and nothing short of boss. My creative mind is running wild and everyday I become more comfortable with myself and trying new things. The power of change, the different aspects of change, and how amazing continuous elevation feels is very real.
On my short blog hiatus I sat and thought a lot about the content and different topics that have been placed upon my heart to discuss. For this topic the first question I asked myself was what does my hair cut have to do with motherhood? The more I pondered on the question, the quicker I realized that my haircut is much more than just a style. It is a symbol of improvement, confidence in myself, and new-found creativity; in my opinion those are some of the most important characteristics that embody a mother!
Being a mother is so much more than giving baths, changing diapers, taking care of a dependent, and so on. For my reality each pregnancy/child corrected me in a special way, the first different from the second. God has gifted me with two precious jewels, each of a different kind, and he has crowned forever their protector.
Taite is my jewel of strength, growth, and independence. I can say the amount of growth from January 2013 to this present time, August 2017, is nothing but God. Taite is my foundation jewel. He has given me the strength (along with the support of my family), and the push to be a go getter. You know that wake up call that we get sometimes where all the messy facts are lined up right in-front of us? That call that tells us like it is, that we never really want to answer?
Giving birth to Taite was the call I needed. I had no car, no job, wasn’t in school, and was staying with my grandparent when I came home from college. That was a time in my life I truly had to put my big girl panties on. I quickly came to the realization that there was not going to be anymore family doing everything for Tyler and treating her like a princess, this brought so much into perspective for me.
My family supported me fully, however they made sure I knew there was a limit on the amount financial support they were providing. It took me all of a year and some change to make a complete 360 degree change! I made goals for myself and executed each and every one. Everything I didn’t have, I made sure I stayed focused to get.
Before Taite’s second birthday, we both had exceedingly exceptional health insurance, a very dependable car for transportation (in my name and only my name might I add), and lastly but certainly not least, a roof over our heads (that also had my name on it lol). I am now stronger than ever which sounds so cliché but I truly mean it, the amount of growth is astonishing and I am so proud of myself because I kept pushing full throttle. I just can’t get enough of the feeling of success.
Most importantly, I accepted that time in my life as something positive rather than negative and I will always identify those circumstances as a lesson. I learned how to hold the fort down, make short-term sacrifices for long-term outcomes, and make sure my unit is good if need be which to me is truly being a boss mom.
My second child Nova is my jewel of confidence, neophilia (love for new things), and acknowledgment of the powers I pose as a queen. Carrying Nova was a different experience from Taite. With Nova I felt the change within me before she even took her first breath of air. In fact being pregnant with Nova is when I completely went for it and shaved the sides and back of my hair. That for me was the start of it all.
I’ve always had nice hair with a good length on it and I’ve always felt like my hair was the one thing that made me attractive. Despite being so into my hair I still would always get a urge to chop it all off. However, I never did because of the infamous comments “your hair is so pretty like it is”, or “you look better with long hair”. I have always cared to much about the opinions of others. All of that has changed since Nova.
This jewel has brought me so much confidence and peace with myself. I no longer look for the approval of outsiders nor do I care about their opinions which is the best thing I could have ever let go of. I feel like weights have been lifted from my back and I am slaying the tasks God places in front of me. Since aiding Nova in her transition into this realm of life, I have completely shaved all my hair off and I couldn’t be happier. I love this identity, I identify this look as the Tyler that has broken free and is shining as bright as a Nova star. I can let negative comments simply roll from ones tongue and right off my the curviest region of my backside. I find myself becoming more and more social with complete strangers, signing up for things I would have never signed up for before, and simply just living the best life I can.
I must add that accepting the self change that my jewels have presented to me even has my relationship flourishing with love, happiness, and peace (and that’s all that needs to be said about that). Nonetheless, I know my two jewels are so precious because they were crafted special just for me. God knew exactly what jewels of change were necessary for me, and he sent them down when he knew the time was right. My babies were right on time. My children make me better and better every day. They are the finest gems I can ever come in possession of, and I am forever thankful.
For all my soon to be mommies reading – please embrace every emotion that comes with your pregnancy, for I now realize that those were simply emotions of change for the better. Be accepting of the adjustments, not only the literal that your mind and body are going through, but also the decorated change in which I am referring to in sharing my experience. Remember hosting the life of another who will bring out actions in you that you never knew you were capable of is incredible and sadly not all women get to experience it, so be grateful for your capability and never take it for granted.
For all my mothers who are seasoned – if you are fighting the change that is happening for you, don’t! Allow your precious jewel/s to be the instrument/s God crafted to heighten your capabilities. Allow them to fulfill one of their assigned purposes. You get better with time, you are beautiful, you are capable of more than you know. Try things that make you uncomfortable. Discomfort is temporary, however, experiences are forever.
Peace, love, and overflowing blessings.
Featured Contributor: Tyler E. Johnson
Tyler E. Johnson is a mother and author of “The Bonafide Moms Spot”. She created the blog when she discovered she had unique creative writing capabilities that could help give a voice to everyday life in mom land. Tyler’s journey as mother is relatable, organic, uncut, and enthralling.